July 13, 2009So now then.Here we are, halfway through 2009. It's been a ridiculous year (life?) for me so far, but I'm excited to finally have a plan that will take me through the rest of this year, and hopefully set up all of 2010, and beyond.
AUGUST:
SEPTEMBER & OCTOBER & INTO NOVEMBER:
NOVEMBER:
DECEMBER:
I know it sounds like a lot -- especially the parts about eating cake and sleeping -- but it's a group effort. Let me know if you want to be part of the cultivation! This is gardening, not architecture.
Posted on 07/13/2009 2:05 PM Comments (2)
May 13, 2009Confessions Of A Prom Queen
Posted on 05/13/2009 12:23 PM Comments (5)
April 23, 2009Weekly Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday [04/23/09]***Submit questions to me via message!***
 Ooooh, look who's back! QUESTION 1 of 3 Dear Sarah, QUESTION 2 of 3
Dear Sarah, QUESTION 3 of 3
Dear Sarah, Dear Lonely,
Posted on 04/23/2009 11:13 PM Comments (3)
March 22, 2009G,NA TOUR DIARY! (Week Two)
SUNDAY, MARCH 15, 2009 -- Tour Manager swap! Dropped off Wyatt at the Sacramento airport and picked up Sumner, who will be with me for a week!
REDDING, CA DOWNTOWN EATERY & LIBATIONS w/ TATTON WHITE, JOHN TRE & LILAIC LOVE, LAST WORKHORSE The Downtown Eatery is a new venue in Redding, and has the potential to become legendary, if you ask me! Matt Matlock puts a lot of work into booking and promoting shows here, and it's all-ages with a bar and delicious food and desserts (including vegan options). Everyone who ran the show/venue and came out to see the bands was nice, welcoming, and supportive. It was really inspiring to discover such a strong independent music scene on that long drive from the Bay area up to Oregon. Every band should stop and play here! After the show, a group of us went to the Sun Dial bridge, which is beautiful at night! Then we all stayed up way too late hanging out and talking and looking at rad photos that Matt has taken at all the shows they've had so far. I hope they make a book of photos someday! Big thanks to Matt, Tina, and Lili for a rad 20-hour hangout, haha. MONDAY, MARCH 16, 2009 -- Yummy vegan lunch and then the drive to Eugene! EUGENE, OR COZMIC PIZZA w/ NYGHTOWLL Monday nights are always hard, especially at a pizza pub that isn't supposed to be having shows on Monday nights until summertime. Nevertheless, this show ended up being a lot of fun, thanks especially to Nyghtowll who played a really cool electronica set and brought out a bunch of friends! Before the show, I did the EIY Talk Radio show from the car via Skype and my AT&T wireless card. It was kinda hard to hear my co-host, Dean, but I was able to answer all the IMs and hang out on the show for the first hour or so. Technology is amazing! We decided to drive to Portland after the show, to crash at my friend Krist Krueger's house, where we spent the next three nights. TUESDAY, MARCH 17, 2009 -- "Portland Hates Sarah" Day PORTLAND, OR KELLY'S OLYMPIAN w/ REVERSE DOTTY Tuesday started out great; we got brunch with Krist, set up camp in his living room to work and do laundry and relax before the show. The laundromat was directly across the street from Krist's so I figured it was safe to leave stuff there and walk back to grab it, right? WRONG! After doing a couple of loads, I realized I had forgotten to wash my handmade G,NA shirt that I wear on stage every night (the one in all the pics). So I washed it in the sink and walked it over to put in the dryer for about 15 minutes. Twenty minutes later I walked back to grab it, and some chick was loading her laundry into the dryer where my shirt had been. I asked her where the shirt was, that had been in the dryer, and she said all that was in it when she opened it was the dryer sheet. We went through all of her laundry, and then I searched the entire place, and it was gone. Stolen! Needless to say, I was supremely bummed. So we looked up the nearest AmApp and art supplies stores and headed out early to get supplies to make a new shirt. My friend Valient Himself (from Valient Thorr) called and when I told him the news, he offered me make me a new shirt as well. Rad! After that, we headed downtown to the show and to meet up with Niki (fistinthesky.buzznet.com) who was the first Portland winner. Also at the venue when we got there was Josh, a friend of a friend who came out to support. So things started looking up for the day, but Portland still wasn't done messing with me. During the sound check, my laptop started freaking out and playing all the backing tracks really distortedly through the headphones, and nothing I did would fix it. With only about 15 minutes before I was supposed to go on, I freaked out and called Wyatt who was at a St Patrick's Day party. Thank goodness for genius tech geek friends, because after troubleshooting some things, he figured out the issue and I was able to get the tracks to work. The only other crappy thing that happened was that I left my cell phone in the bathroom, and when I realized it and went back to grab it, it was gone. So for about five minutes, I thought my phone had been stolen. But then some girl came up and told me she found it and gave it to the bartender. *PHEW!* Me without my phone is like... Me without my arms and legs! Or something! Finally it was show time, and my set went off without a hitch. I even had some drunk guy in the front who was dancing and yelling about how much he liked my songs -- always makes for a fun show. Reverse Dotty was amaaaaazing, totally weird and fun and dance-y. It ended up being a great show. Afterwards, we parted ways with Niki who had to work early, and went to get food with Krist and his roommate Becky, then back to the house to work some more. Finally got to bed at about 4am, feeling totally defeated by Portland. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18, 2009 -- Maybe Portland doesn't hate me after all. PORTLAND, OR MISSISSIPPI PIZZA PUB w/ MEAN GIRLS, PARIS CAN WAIT Woke up late, walked to get food with Krist, then set up in the living room to make my new shirt. I could only get big stencils so I decided to take the design in a whole new direction. I was pretty stoked on it until I realized I had messed up the spacing, and ran out of room for the last "E" in "ARCHITECTURE" on the front of the shirt. I just put it on the back. EFF IT Load-in was a bit earlier so we headed over to meet the second Portland contest winner, Kimberly (kimberlymarie.buzznet.com), and her friend Lynsey. Niki also made it out to the show again, as did Josh. So it was a veritable crew! This show was similar to the other pizza pub venue, in that the bands pretty much run the show themselves and pay for a sound person out of the door. Lauren was our sound girl for the evening, and from the moment she started blasting Mariah Carey during load-in, we knew she'd be a blast. Once the first band, Mean Girls, started sound-checking, we knew the whole night was going to be crazy. And we were right! Mean Girls is three guys playing dance-electro pop songs with no vocals, but lots of random yelling from the drummer. Hilarious. I played second, then Paris Can Wait (Liz Kelly) played last. She was an aboslute riot and had the entire room doubled-over with her stage banter. But when she was singing, her voice and melodies totally mesmerized us. It was a great way to end the show that started out sort of stressfully. WATCH THE VIDEO WE MADE AFTER THE SHOW: CLICK HERE! After the show, we all parted ways, and Sumner and I headed back to Krist's, where we ended up staying up late watching "Royal Tenanbaums." THURSDAY, MARCH 19, 2009 -- Another laundromat trip, but this time I kept my eye on it. SEATTLE, WA RE-BAR w/ THE CRILLS (PUNK ROCK KARAOKE) After yet another delicious Portland brunch, we headed toward Seattle, to my friend Sara's house. Got there with enough time to stop by, say hi, and drop off our stuff. This show was the first installment of Punk Rock Karaoke at the Re-Bar, and I was supposed to play between two sets of karaoke. Jen (xjennersonx.buzznet.com), the Seattle winner of the Buzznet/Macbeth contest, who also helped me with both Seattle shows via SeattlePunk.org and her promotions company Ear Candy Northwest, met us at the show. My friend Sonya, who I went to elementary, junior, and high school with (and had not seen in almost 12 years) also came out to the show, which was insane! Sara and her friend came later, as did Thom and others from SPO, so it ended up being a fun, intimate show. After the first set, I got up and did my show, and after that we called it a night rather than getting The Crills back up for a second set. Big thanks to Chas who put the show together with Dan from The Crills! Post-show food was at a cute late-night diner on Broadway, then it was back to Sara's to watch "Wall-E" and fall asleep on the couch. FRIDAY, MARCH 20, 2009 -- Total camp-out day at Sara's house until the show! SEATTLE, WA THE FUNHOUSE -- ARI'S BIRTHDAY! w/ THE THEM, DEAD UNCLE STEAMER, POTBELLY, THE SKEXIES Thom from SPO helped get me on this show, and I'm so glad he did because a DIY tour isn't complete without at least one crazy, honest, old-school, beer all over the floor, fists in the air, punk rock show! That's exactly what this show was, in celebration of local scene supporter and former house-show-thrower Ari's birthday. I played first and was scared that it might not go over well with the people who had come out to see some straight-up punk bands, but amazingly it was really well-received and everyone was very supportive. For the rest of the night, all the growly singers would thank all the bands before them, including "Crazy Architecture" -- which might need to be the name of my next album. WATCH A VIDEO OF THE THEM HERE! Thom wanted me to play another set at the very end of the night, but someone kicked a water pipe and broke it, so they had to shut off the water in the club after the last band and kick everybody out. But hey, I was ready for it! My friend Jessi, whom I've known since the Wisco days when I was recording pre-G,NA demos with Beau in the apartment he and Jessi shared, came out to the show, which was rad. Big huge thanks to the SPO family for welcoming me into the fold. I can't wait to work on more projects with that community in the future -- especially if I get to go on tour opening for Butt Trumpet! After the show we had to skidaddle back to Sara's to try to get some sleep before the next day's super-long drive to Nampa. SATURDAY, MARCH 21, 2009 -- This little piggy went drive, drive, drive, all the way to Nampa. NAMPA, ID THE FLYING M COFFEEGARAGE w/ A CASSANDRA UTTERANCE, WE WON THE SCIENCE FAIR What an amazing show! I'd been hearing great things about this venue but it definitely surpassed my expectations. After driving through crazy rainstorms and forgetting about the timezone change, we got there JUST in time for A Cassandra Utterance to go on. They're a great band on the EIY website (http://earnityourself.com/acassandrautterance) and it was awesome to finally see them live. Logan from We Won The Science Fair played a solo set after my set, and it was amazing! Just a great show all-around. I met tons of rad people after the show, and the staff at Flying M was incredibly nice. I wish there was a coffee shop venue like this in every city! We all decided to caravan to Salt Lake City to stay at ACU's house for the next couple days. The trip ended up taking about 6 hours, and we arrived at the house a little after 5AM to pass out. HERE'S A VIDEO FROM THE START OF THE TRIP! SUNDAY, MARCH 22, 2009 -- Changing of the guard! Bye bye Sumner, hello John Oakes! SALT LAKE CITY, UT SUGARHOUSE COFFEE w/ KILIONA (from A CASSANDRA UTTERANCE) After getting barely any sleep, we got up and headed to the airport, where I dropped off Tour Manager #2 (Sumner) and picked up Tour Manager #3 (John). After getting situated in the "tour bus," John and I headed to the show. This was a mellow little show that ACU helped get us on. It was a rad coffee house that is the only place open late on Sundays in SLC. We played early and hung out for a bit at the coffee house before heading back to ACU's house to cook a big pasta dinner with salad and garlic bread. YUM After dinner we all settled in while snow began to fall outside, and we listened to records (Earth, Wind and Fire, Lionel Richie, Doobie Brothers, Oingo Boingo, and more), baked some cookies, played Duck Hunt, and just chilled. It started snowing and we had a photoshoot!
Photos:
Posted on 03/22/2009 10:36 PM Comments (1)
March 15, 2009G,NA TOUR DIARY! (Partial Week One)
TUESDAY, MARCH 10, 2009 -- Tour kick-off show
LOS ANGELES, CA UNIVERSAL BAR & GRILLE It's easy to forget, sometime, just how many wonderful, loving, supportive friends I have. The tour kick-off was a huge success, and everyone I love was there to see me off. It was like that part at the end of the wedding reception when everyone gathers outside and throws rice at the bride and groom as they head off on their honeymoon; only, my groom was a crazy wall of lights that I made out of a shower curtain and some duct tape. Leslie and Mark were at the show, and hopefully got some good pictures in the dark to post online!  Photo: Reza Asgari WEDNESDAY, MARCH 11, 2009 -- Get in the rental car with Wyatt (Tour/Tech/DrinkTicket Manager Extraordinaire for the first leg of the tour) SANTA BARBARA, CA VELVET JONES w/ CROOKS & LIARS, TONY SLY (NO USE FOR A NAME) Eddy Numbskull has never failed to put on a killer show. He used to help my old band out whenever we came through SoCal on tour, so when I called him up five years later about my new project, he came through once again -- or twice, as he booked Wednesday's and Thursday's shows. Rosalie (xxrccola.buzznet.com) was the Buzznet winner for this show, and she met me and Wyatt (Tour Manager #1) at the venue early with her friend Aaron (countlesshours.buzznet.com). We all went to get pizza, then came back for the show, which was a blast. The room was packed and all the bands were really good and really nice. Crooks & Liars have some amazing songs and will hopefully be playing out more (so I can open for them) and Tony Sly from No Use For A Name was awesome, and super nice. Just good vibes all around! Watch some videos from the show HERE! After the show, we ended up crashing at two extreeeeeeemely drunks girls' apartment, which was an adventure in itself. I was awakened a few times throughout the night by random drunk people wandering in to the apartment and trying to sit on the couches that Wyatt and I were occupying. Needless to say, it was one of those situations that are sucky while you're in them, but hilarious the next morning when you start to recall the details of the evening. It was really nice of Jess and Macy to let us crash, and we appreciate the stories we got out of it!  Aaron, me, and Rosalie! THURSDAY, MARCH 12, 2009 -- Wake up way too early and drive a million hours to Fresno. FRESNO, CA CLUB FRED w/ DEVIL MAKES THREE Another Numbskull show means another great night! Eddy came to hang out at this show, which was amazing because I hadn't seen him in almost 5 years. Big Tim who was running the show is one of the nicest dudes ever, and the Devil Makes Three guys/girl were amazing! Everyone was really receptive to my music even though the other bands were straight up punk/bluegrass (a movement I've been backing for years, BTW). By the end of the night the entire room was one gigantic dance party that never seemed to end. And we didn't want it to! Iris (iriswasabi.buzznet.com) was the Buzznet winner for this show, and she met us at load-in and hung out with us aaaaaaaaaaaaallllll the way until 3AM when we finally took her home. After the show, we went out to get Thai food with Eddy Numbskull, Big Tim, the Numbskull crew that was working another Fresno show that night, and the Devil Makes Three crew. What an outing! We dominated the restaurant and had a blast. Afterwards we were totally exhausted, and dropped Iris off then went back to meet up with Eddy who graciously let Wyatt and me crash in his hotel room. Everyone on the west coast should get involved with Numbskull Productions and go out to support all his shows. He is a shining example of a DIY/EIY scene supporter who has been bringing great bands to venues on the west coast for 20 years! Read Iris's journal entry about the night HERE and give her a buzz/comment!  The lovely and talented Iris Wasabi, with some weird girl. FRIDAY, MARCH 13, 2009 -- Hooray for showers and short drives! SACRAMENTO, CA HOWE PARK HALL w/ HERO'S LAST MISSION, FFG, TRACK FIGHTER The first all-ages show of the tour, and what better place for it than a community center in the middle of a park?! Wyatt and I got there early and camped out on a blanket on the grass with our computers.  The show was the first show they had put on there, in an effort to bring inexpensive, all-ages shows to the area. I'd say it was a great success with over 100 kids showing up and a great line-up of bands! After I played, three girls came up and introduced themselves to me: Megan, Sammi, and Juliette. We all hung out the rest of the night and talked about music and bands and photography and all kinds of stuff. Turns out Megan is an active scene supporter on the EIY website and didn't even know it was my website! So we had a great time hanging out. *Megan just started a new Buzznet profile for her photography! Check it out HERE! When the show was over and we all loaded out, we all headed to Denny's with HLM and FFG, and some of the kids from the show. We had a crew of about 30 people but managed not to get too rowdy. The "Taking Back Bacon Burger Fries" on the menu caught me by surprise (read my interview with Matt Rubano on EIY, here) and gave me a good chuckle. Hero's Last Mission let Wyatt and I crash at their house that night. It was another 3AM-er but at least we got to sleep in the next day! A big huge thank you to Julian, who got me on the show AND ran the sound for the night AND played drums in HLM. You're one of the hardest working guys I've met in a long time and you're going to go far! SATURDAY, MARCH 14, 2009 -- Hooray for sleeping in and exploring Sacramento! STOCKTON, CA BLACKWATER CAFE w/ COURTNEY HOUSTON, REGGIE GINN, CHELSEA WOLFE Middagh hooked me up with this show and it was (I know you're getting tired of hearing it, but...) yet another rad, interesting, fun show! All female performers playing totally different styles of stuff from soulful piano to cute acoustic rock to moody slide guitar stuff. It's always fun to be a part of an all-girl lineup and remember that there are just as many talented females in the music biz as there are stinky dudes. Megan and Brian from Sacramento drove down for this show, which ruled! And Dean (my co-host on EIY Talk Radio on Monday nights) sent his friend John to support me and find us a place to stay. Thank you to Linda for putting us up and letting us play pool in the garage until 3AM!  Wyatt, me, Megan, and Brian! SUNDAY, MARCH 15, 2009 -- Tour Manager swap! Dropped off Wyatt at the Sacramento airport and picked up Sumner, who will be on the road with me for a week! REDDING, CA DOWNTOWN EATERY & LIBATIONS w/ TATTON WHITE, JOHN TRE & LILAIC LOVE, LAST WORKHORSE
Posted on 03/15/2009 7:44 PM Comments (3)
March 1, 2009The "Behind the DIY/EIY Scenes" Tour Contest brought to you by Buzznet and Macbeth Footwear!BROUGHT TO YOU BY  AND  THIS CONTEST IS NOW OVER! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERED! ONE WINNER IN EACH CITY GOT TO SPEND THE DAY BEHIND THE SCENES WITH ME, AS WELL AS THE FOLLOWING FREE STUFF:  * A pair of Macbeth shoes * G,NA shirt * G,NA buttons * Handmade EP * Personalized tour poster * Featured spot in top friends on my Buzznet profile for duration of tour * Journal entry recapping my day with each winner, including photos and a link to their profile, posted on both Buzznet.com and Macbeth.com WINNERS:
Photos:
Posted on 03/01/2009 10:59 AM Comments (30)
February 26, 2009Weekly Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday [02/26/09]***Submit questions to me via message!*** Dear Sarah, I've got my eye on you. QUESTION 1 of 3 I've never had a good relationship with my dad. He's loud, obnoxious, has no sense of time, is selfish and sexist. He doesn't think of me as his "little girl," he sees me as a little freak. I don't like talking to him, but sometimes I can't avoid him. I need a good way to deal with him until I leave for college. I know he has problems and he's clinically depressed, but it's hard to understand his issues when he's so irritable. What can I do? Submitted by: http://bellreavue.buzznet.com Dear Living w/ Difficult Dad, It can be really hard when one of your parents doesn't give you the love and respect that you deserve as a human being -- and that you expect as their child. It's hard to recognize that your parents are individuals who have their own sets of issues, baggage, and emotions. It's weird to think that they were once your age, and probably had the same frustrations with their parents as you now have with yours. Now, that being said, you are still living at home, and your parents are (presumably) paying the bills and putting food on the table. That's definitely something you should be grateful for, and it's reason enough for you to try to be polite and courteous for as long as you are living at home. You don't have to LIKE it, but you should be a good and decent person by at least respecting the fact that your parents provide for you. Before you decide to cut your father out of your life altogether, I'd strongly suggest talking to someone who is close to both your father and you -- someone in your family, like your mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, grandparents, etc. Tell them how your dad makes you feel and ask them if they can help talk to your dad about his behavior. You might also want to suggest going to family therapy with your dad and anyone else in your family who might be affected by his attitude. If he is depressed and has other psychological issues, then his behavior is stemming from somewhere deep inside that has nothing to do with you; unfortunately, you're one of the people closest to him, so it's easy for him to take it out on you. Talking to family and friends, and trying to get help, should always be the first things you try in situations like this. You should always have someone in your family who is your sounding board, to help you through these kinds of situations, and to stand up for you when you need it. Once you have someone to help you discuss the issue with your father -- be it a family member, relative, or therapist -- I think it's important that you put into words what you want and need from your father. Remember: he is an individual. He makes his own choices based on his own set of life experiences, and you can't let the way he treats you affect the way you view yourself. You have to hold him to the same standards you would hold anyone else; and if he doesn't live up to those standards, you can't blame yourself or feel bad about yourself because of it. He needs to do the right thing, to act like an adult, and to be a good father to you. He needs to be held responsible for his decisions and his actions. You can't fix him, you can only tell him what you expect from him and what you need from the relationship. Once you have laid it all out on the table, it's up to him to do the right thing. He needs to want to fix himself, and if he doesn't, you have to be prepared to give up on that relationship. I would start right now by putting on paper how he makes you feel, how he upsets and disappoints you, and how you wish he would act differently. List examples of things he does that makes you not want to interact with him. Explain the feelings you get when he does those things. Next, write down stuff about him that you like, good memories that you have, and the ways you wish he would change. You might be surprised by what spills onto the page once you start writing everything down. If all else fails, you might want to consider writing him a letter that contains all those thoughts. I always find that it's easier to explain my feelings in writing than in person. Maybe your dad just doesn't realize how he is making you feel. The last thing I'll say is that we all go through a phase in high school where we feel very alienated from our parents. It seems like they could never understand what we are going through, and their only goal in life is to make our lives a living hell. But I guarantee that this changes over time. If you can be level-headed and realistic about things, and take everything with a grain of salt, it will get better. Underneath all the crap and the bad decisions and the fights and the selfishness, every parent loves their child, and wants their child to love them back. Love, Sarah QUESTION 2 of 3 Dear Sarah,I know this is a simple question, but I really need help with it. I'm fifteen and my boyfriend just broke up with me. He was my first official boyfriend. I've had someone break up with me once before but he wasn't really my boyfriend. But this time it hurts so much more. He was my best friend. We'd tell each other EVERYTHING. And we could act like idiots with each other. It was so fun. He still talks to me every day and he said we're still best friends. But he says it's hard to be best friends because I'll always want to be more and he doesn't. He said he broke up with me because he just lost his feelings for me. But I didn't even do anything wrong. He had this school play which he really wanted me to join with him so we could spend more time together. But I said no, and that made him really upset. But I didn't think it would make him stop loving me. He said that's not the main reason, but that's what started the loss of his feelings. I have a feeling that we can make it through this like we always had. We were together for a year and three months. I miss all the times we spent together. It hurts not knowing we can't spend time together anymore. I don't know what to do. I want to get over him but I don't know how. My friends aren't always there for me. They have transferred to different schools and they have new friends so I'm all alone. Please help me. How can I get over him? What should I do? Sincerely, Heartbroken Loner Dear Heartbroken, OUCH. I've been here before and it is NOT fun. I'm truly sorry you are going through this right now. I wish the heartache could go away overnight, but unfortunately that's just not how this stuff works. All you can do right now is take things one day at a time. Each day, whether you feel it or not, your heart and mind are healing. It's important to let this process run its course, and not try to cover it up or ignore it or make it go faster. It is okay to feel hurt, sad, lonely, and all of those things. Take your time healing so you don't end up with any scars! Now, as for the "staying friends" thing: I've tried this before. It was a similar situation. I was totally in love with this guy, and then one day he just broke up with me, seemingly out of nowhere. I was devastated! But then he said he still wanted to be friends, and to be honest I said I wanted to be friends too, but only because I wanted to be close to him in the hopes that he would fall back in love with me. Eventually it got too complicated, and he said the same thing to me about it being hard to stay friends because he knew I wanted more. That was the first and last time I tried staying friends with an ex-boyfriend immediately after a break-up. No matter who dumps whom, or why you broke up, there still needs to be some time apart. You can't go straight from having one type of intimate relationship to another without some distance, so you can both heal. If you two are meant to be together, you'll end up together. But you can't force it. He has been (brutally) honest about his feelings, so you must respect that, and not try to push him in a direction he doesn't want to go. On the other hand, it's not fair of him to try to keep you to himself under the guise of a friendship. He probably likes the attention and affection he was used to having from you when you were together, and he doesn't want to let go of that. But he needs to know that he either gets you, or he doesn't. He can't have his cake and eat it, too! I think you need to tell him that you need your space. You don't have to get into a big discussion about, just tell him that you need to not talk to him or hang out with him for a while, until you think you are ready for a friendship. And then you really need to stick to it. In a way, it will be like you are breaking up with him, which can be just as hard to getting dumped. But you have to stick to the plan. In an ideal world, you'll end the friendship, and he'll start to miss you and realize what a jerk he's been and beg you to take him back. But you should not expect that to happen. In fact, you should expect the worst. That way, you won't be caught off-guard or hurt all over again when he doesn't try to get back together. Most importantly, though: take this time to focus on yourself, and on starting a new chapter in your life. Try making new friends, or getting involved with after-school activities, taking up new hobbies, exercising more, spending time with your family, etc. Start a new art project, read a book, get a new haircut. Rearrange your bedroom, delete your Myspace account, take guitar lessons. Fill your time, and your mind, with anything that will keep you from obsessing on this situation -- and then, just take it one day at a time. Every morning, your heart will feel a little lighter. Be sure to look inside yourself during this time as well, to try to learn from this experience. Look back on the relationship as an outsider, and try to find any warning signs. See if there was anything about the way you acted in the relationship that you didn't like, and work on changing those things. Try to identify the things about him that upset or bothered you, and make note of those things. Healing a broken heart is a very important time for us to grow and learn about ourselves as individuals. I can't think of any other experience that forces people to learn about themselves so much in such a short amount of time -- so use this time to evolve and become a better version of yourself. And who knows? Maybe after enough days in a row, and enough introspection, you will wake up and realize that this guy wasn't your ideal guy, and you're happy the relationship is over so that you can go out into the world a better person, ready to meet someone who will make you even happier! This, too, shall pass... Love, Sarah QUESTION 3 of 3 Dear Sarah, I really want to get into modeling but people say you have to be careful because some agencies will try to rip you off by charging you. I've heard so many rumors about it. I don't know what to do, and my friends are no help because they don't get me. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on what agencies are meant to do, and how I know I'm not getting ripped off. Sincerely, I Wanna Be a Scene Model Dear "Scene" Model Wannabe, I was honestly considering possible, thoughtful answers to your question until I got to your signature: I Wanna Be a Scene Model. What does 'scene model' mean? To me, it means those girls you see on TV and the internet who aren't quite actresses, aren't quite runway models, aren't quite anything but still end up on the covers of magazines and in reality television shows. There is a certain lack of substance that goes along with being a 'model' in the world today. It's all about looks, sure, but it's gotten even shallower than that. I mean, at least in beauty pageants you have to have a talent, an education, and goals. But with the internet and television, modeling has become synonymous with wearing expensive clothes and too much makeup, hanging around at celebrity parties, and being a vapid, spoiled rich kid. You are very young, so my advice to you would be to find a way to get into modeling through more traditional channels like pageants, talent shows, etc. Get your parents involved so they can protect you and be responsible for business decisions. Research the industry online and see how legitimate models (not "scene" models) have become successful in the business. I don't know much about agencies, but my instinct tells me that they should want YOU, and want to pay YOU -- not the other way around. There are way more scam artists in the world than there are legitimate people, so question every contract, every promise, and every person that you come across. Lastly, click here, to read my advice column from 12/25/08, Question 3 of 3, where I discuss a similar topic about modeling and internet celebs. Ask yourself why you want to become a model, and if it's for the right reasons. Love, Sarah
Posted on 02/26/2009 12:28 AM Comments (2)
February 14, 200910 Things I Love (And Why I Love Them)For the Hearts & Handshakes group!  In no particular order... (1) What: Coffee Why: It makes every morning feel a little bit like Christmas. (2) What: Snuggling Why: Whether it's with someone special, a puppy, or a pile of blankets... It's one of the best feelings on earth. (3) What: Accomplishments Why: There's no payoff as great as reaching a goal you have set for yourself, by your own efforts. (4) What: Learning About Myself Why: I'm my own unfolding story: the more I learn about my main character, the better the plot gets. (5) What: Grand Gestures Why: Every girl loves a knight in shining armor. (6) What: Old Books Why: Something about the look, feel, and smell of yellowing old pages in a book makes me feel nostalgic. (7) What: Inspiring Conversations Why: Being able to connect with other human beings through ideas is the best kind of high there is. (8) What: Bittersweet Songs Why: They're my favorite kind of song: not just sad, not just happy, but perfectly poignant and heart-wrenching. (9) What: Making Things Why: Losing oneself in the creation of something is the most fundamental form of therapy there is. (10) What: Life Why: We won the freaking lottery, people. Enjoy it.
Posted on 02/14/2009 4:03 AM Comments (7)
February 5, 2009Weekly Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday [02/05/09]***Submit your advice questions via message!*** Want to get random texts from me? Click here! Become a member of the Saturdaylist!  Watching "Reno 911" and writing... Not a bad way to pass the time. QUESTION 1 of 3 Dear Sarah, Ever since I can remember, I've had trouble making friends, and tend to be stand-offish when I meet new people. I also have trouble making eye contact with people. Every time I'm in a new environment I become introverted and get anxious easily. How can I change this? I want to learn how to talk to people, but I get too anxious. Love, Introverted But Trying (Anonymous) Dear Introverted, It is totally normal to have a sense of apprehension or nervousness when you are in a new situation, or meeting new people. We're always most comfortable around people that we already know, in places that are already familiar to us. When I was in high school, there was a group of people (mostly girls) who didn't like me because they said I was stuck-up and full of myself. In reality, I was pretty shy, and intimidated by those people who were always the loud, abrasive, seemingly confident kids in school. I was the person who kept to myself in social situations, where I didn't know anyone. Most of that was a lack of confidence in myself and my ability to handle any situation. It takes time to build "confidence" -- and "confidence" doesn't necessarily mean being loud, talkative, or the center of attention. Confidence, by definition, is "belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-reliance; assurance." The better you know yourself, your beliefs, your boundaries, and your likes/dislikes, the better you'll be able to adapt to new situations. You'll be able to answer any question, or chime in on any conversation, because you'll know what you think and why you think it. You'll also trust your judgment in any situation, and if you don't want to be there, you will have no problem leaving because you'll know why you don't feel comfortable. Part of being scared to open up in a social setting is the fear of being rejected, or of saying something "wrong" and being made fun of. The more time you work on developing who you are at your core, the less you will worry about other people's reactions. As your confidence in yourself grows, you will come out of your shell more and more. But it definitely takes time to learn about yourself. Another thing you can do to overcome your fear in social situations is this: view your fear as if it is a bratty little kid who is throwing a temper tantrum, trying to ruin your day. Annoying, right? But, as we all know, the fastest way to get a bratty kid to stop throwing a temper tantrum is to IGNORE the tantrum. So, instead of letting your fear overcome you, punish it by intentionally acting the opposite of the way it wants you to react. If you walk into a party and your fear tells you to look down at the floor, ignore it, and intentionally looking into every person's eyes that you pass. Punish your fear even more by *smiling* at those people, while you are making eye contact. If you are in a big group of people and your fear tells you not to talk to anyone, ignore it and ask someone what time it is, then punish your fear even more by introducing yourself to the person, and asking them about themselves. When you get anxious in a social situation, it's your fear telling you that something terrible will happen if you open up and make yourself vulnerable. But that's not the case! I can guarantee that after enough times of punishing your fear by going against what it tells you to do, the fear will start to subside, just like how the bratty kid eventually gives up and goes back to playing with his toys. As for the anxiety: depending on how bad it actually is, there are a few things you can do. You should start by reading about social anxiety online. A lot of people have issues with social anxiety, but the more serious cases can require therapy or medication. If you haven't talked to a therapist, it might be worth it to schedule a few sessions. I am a firm believer that everyone can benefit from therapy; I've overcome a lot of issues in my life just by talking to a professional and getting some tips and tricks for handling stuff like depression, anxiety, stress, etc. Strengthen your core to build your confidence, and punish your fear when it tries to throw temper tantrums. You're 100 times more interesting than most people you will ever meet, and there's nothing you can do or say in a social setting that will cause any permanent damage... Trust me! Love, Sarah QUESTION 2 of 3 Dear Sarah,I need your help. You see, my cousin and I never used to get along when we were little kids. We always fought over the stupidest things. But in December of 2007, my family and I visited relatives for a few weeks. During that time we attended a a wedding. I didn't know my cousin was going to be there, but when I saw him wearing his tuxedo and looking really elegant, I stopped thinking of him as a little boy and found myself in front of a handsome gentleman. We had a great time at the wedding. We danced and ate strawberries from a chocolate fountain. He was paying more attention to me than my brother (with whom he used to get along very well). After the wedding, we started to spend more time together. We hugged more, and he would always touch my hand, and he taught me how to ride a skateboard. We would even joke about getting married. Later he confessed that the same thing happened to him when he saw me wearing my red dress at the wedding. He didn't think of me as that little girl who cried for everything anymore; now he thought of me as something more, a "gorgeous girl" (in his own words). We saw each other again during spring break in 2008. The same happened -- touching hands, joking around, kissing on the cheek. A few months later, during summer vacation, things got more interesting. He came to stay for about three weeks at my house. Everything was alright during the day, while he and my brother and I would hang out together. But at night we would sneak into the living room to watch the moon from the window, and at times he would grab my hand, or play with my hair, or lay his head on my lap so I could play with his hair... *sigh* ...until one night, I don't know how it happened, but we kissed! Imagine, my first kiss, and it was with my cousin! We felt weird at first, but then everything felt normal again. Then during Christmas vacation in 2008, the same thing happened again. Everything seems to indicate that we are in love with each other, but the problem is that we are COUSINS! His mom and my mom are SISTERS! Imagine what our family would do if they found out about us. They'd kill us, for sure. But can I blame my heart for choosing him? I know it's strange that of all the people in the world, I had to fall in love with him, but it's him I want. And I can't have him because: 1. Our family would kill us if they found out, 2. Society still discriminates marriages between cousins, or people from the same family, 3. Religion calls it as a sin, and 4. Science has discovered that when two persons of the same family have a baby, the probabilities of birth defects are higher. Please help me! What would you do if you were me? Sincerely, Forbidden Love (Anonymous) Dear Forbidden, Wow. This is one of the toughest questions anyone has ever asked me. I thought a lot about it, and tried to think about what I would do in your situation. Then I did a little bit of research online, just to see what everyone else has to say about it -- I was actually surprised by what I found! First, though, here is what I would do... Talk to your cousin about your feelings. Try to remove the intensity, the thrill of the forbidden, and the drama from the situation and just have a discussion about the reality of what is happening. Maybe you should do this on the phone. Find out how he feels and what he wants to do about it. Examine your own feelings as logically as possible (again, removing the stuff that clouds your judgment). Are your feelings as real as you think they are? Are they real enough to put your relationship with your parents, your relatives, and possibly your friends, at risk, forever? Then, ask yourself: do you think it's possible that somewhere in the world there is a guy who could make you feel the same way this guys makes you feel? Do you think there is even a 1% chance that you could fall in love with someone else, someday, when you are older? A 10% chance? 30%? Do you see where I'm going with this? First loves, first kisses, first thrills... They are extremely intense. It's hard to think straight and it feels like the biggest and most important thing that has ever happened. My first love was one of those "bad" guys that parents always hate. His name was Chris. He skipped school and went to parties, and my parents hated him so much they got a restraining order against him! This, of course, only made the "love" more intense -- we couldn't have it so we wanted it ten times more. Eventually I convinced my parents to give him a chance, and he won them over, and we fell happily into love and were together for a long time. But... my first love was also my first heartbreak. He cheated on me, and it was probably one of the most devastating, painful things I'll ever go through. After high school, I started meeting new people and having new experiences, and I realized how big the world was and how many possibilities lay ahead. Since then, I've had many intense, passionate, and amazing relationships. But when I was 14, if you had asked me who I was going to marry, I would have said "Chris." What I'm getting at is, the chances are greater that you will NOT end up marrying your first love. It's more likely that will have a lot of relationships before you find the right guy to spend your life with. You, yourself, have a lot of changing and growing to do before you will be ready to marry anyone. You've got so many experiences ahead of you! So you have to ask yourself: would it be worth it to choose your cousin as your first love, knowing that it is more likely that you won't end up marrying your first love? Would it be worth it to put your entire family through such an extreme shock, for something that probably won't last? Think about what it would be like after you broke up, both of you with broken hearts, and how difficult it would be to spend the rest of your lives seeing each other at family reunions, holidays, weddings, funerals? Would it be worth it? But if the answer is yes, then I would challenge both of you to take one year to think about it. Pick a date one year in the future, and agree that you will not see each other or talk to each other for one full year. You can write letters to each other but you can't send them. Make other arrangements during spring and summer breaks so you don't have to see each other. If you really, truly love each other and you are really, truly meant to be together forever, then one year of waiting will be nothing. During that year, focus on having fun, doing well in school, developing your hobbies, and meeting new guys. See if there are any guys at your school that you could like. Go to rock shows, art shows, sporting events, church events, etc., and see if you can't find at least one other guy to crush on. Try to put your cousin out of your mind. Open yourself up to the possibilities of new experiences and new people. If, after a full year, you can't put him out of your mind... If you still think you love him and want to be with him... Well, write to me again and I'll tell you what to do next. ;) Now, as for my "research" on the topic... I found a lot of information online, including the list of states in the US that forbid marriage between first cousins. I was surprised to find that only half of the states don't allow it! Here are some other interesting things I found, all of which would need a lot of fact-checking before it was presented as truth:
Here's to hoping I hear from you in a year... Love, Sarah QUESTION 3 of 3 Dear Sarah,My friend's boyfriend and I are pretty good friends. But since she's been going out with him, she has started accusing me of flirting with him, or trying to get him to dump her. I haven't been doing either of these things. How can I get her to believe me? Love, A Trustworthy Friend (Anonymous) Dear Trustworthy Friend, This one is pretty simple, as long as everyone is being honest with themselves and with each other. If you don't have any feelings whatsoever for your friend's boyfriend, then there is nothing you can do but continue to reassure your friend that you are not flirting with him, that you don't like him that way, and that you just want to be his friend. It's up to her to believe you, and to believe the truth. If your friendship with this girl is more important than your friendship with the guy, then you might consider backing off, and not hanging out with him or talking to him online unless your friend is there. If she has self-esteem or trust issues, she will feel threatened or paranoid when her boyfriends are talking to other girls (no matter who the girls are), especially when she isn't around. So you might want to show your devotion to your friend by funneling all of your contact with the guy through her. This will help her feel more secure and in control of the situation. You should also talk to your friend and ask her why she thinks these things. Where does her paranoia come from? Is it from how you are acting, or how the guy is acting? Is it possible that she has reasons to be concerned? Maybe it has nothing to do with the guy OR with you. Maybe it stems from some deeper issue that she is dealing with. Are her parents divorced? Does she have anything in her past that would affect her ability to trust people, especially females in her life? I'm asking all these questions because I can relate to your friend's paranoia. I've been in situations where I secretly worried that my friend had feelings for my boyfriend, or that my boyfriend secretly had a crush on my friend. This stems from trust issues I have with my father, who had an affair when I was really little. My parents' divorce affected my self-esteem as well, and that has also caused issues in my relationships with guys. Unfortunately, the people closest to me have been affected by my personal issues, but being able to talk about it with friends has helped me a lot over the years. So just be honest, reassuring, consistent in your behavior, and supportive of your friend. This probably has nothing to do with you, and has everything to do with your friend's self-esteem issues. (Maybe you should tell her to write to me. *wink wink*) Love, Sarah
Posted on 02/05/2009 11:59 PM Comments (20)
January 22, 2009"Losing a Best Friend" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]
***Submit questions to me via message!***
Posted on 01/22/2009 6:57 PM Comments (8)
"Bouncing Souls Song?" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah,
Posted on 01/22/2009 3:52 PM Comments (0)
"Crushville, Population 3?" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah,
Posted on 01/22/2009 3:51 PM Comments (0)
January 20, 2009Dear President Obama: Dear President Obama: If you want to prove to me that I made a mistake by voting Libertarian instead of voting for you, please do the following within your first 100 days: *Immediately eliminate the Income Tax so we all have more money in our pockets to put back into the economy. *Abolish the Internal Revenue Service and all federal programs and services not required under the U.S. Constitution. *Recognize the freedom of individuals to determine the level of health insurance they want, the level of health care they want, the care providers they want, the medicines and treatments they will use and all other aspects of their medical care by restoring and reviving a free market health care system. *Replace the current government-sponsored Social Security system with a private voluntary system. *End the current U.S. government policy of foreign intervention, including military and economic aid. *Substantially reduce the size and intrusiveness of government and cut all taxes. *Let peaceful, honest people offer their goods and services to willing consumers without a hassle from government. *Let peaceful, honest people decide for themselves what to eat, drink, read, or smoke and how to dress, medicate themselves, or make love, without fear of criminal penalties. Love, Sarah Saturday REMEMBER: Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of individual liberty, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to agree to such new governance as to them shall seem most likely to protect their liberty. Learn more at lp.org
Posted on 01/20/2009 6:17 PM Comments (3)
January 15, 2009"Trying to Expand Horizons" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah,
Posted on 01/15/2009 3:43 PM Comments (0)
"Paranoid and Crushing" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Posted on 01/15/2009 3:42 PM Comments (0)
"Music Business Hopeful in the Year 2009" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!*** Dear Sarah,
I've been in love with music my whole life and I'm interested in doing something in the music business, but not sure what would be best for me. Would you know anything that would help while I'm in college? Classes, volunteer work, internships? Anything really. I would love to work for a record label or AP, even Warped Tour. How do I get there? Submitted by: brookeagainstcity.buzznet.com Dear Music Business Hopeful in the Year 2009, Ten or so years ago, I would have answered this question in a totally different way. The music industry then was booming; artists were easily selling a million copies of their albums in the first week; indie labels were just starting to gain momentum; there were jobs-a-plenty and there was money to be made. Now, however, the landscape of the music industry has become quite grim. Labels are dying off faster than anyone can keep track; bands are breaking up and musicians are getting jobs at the Home Depot to make ends meet; managers are downsizing, getting rid of their assistants and offices; booking agents are only booking two or three months in advance; and tours are being cancelled left and right. Magazines, radio stations, record stores, and venues are shutting down one by one, in quick succession. These are all signs that the end is coming for the music business as we all know it. I don't want to discourage you; I'm just trying to prepare you. If music is your passion, and your calling, and you know for sure that you don't want to do anything else with your life, then you should go for it. But if there is any chance that you might be happy working in some other industry -- maybe one that closely parallels the music business but has a bit more security and longevity (television, film, journalism, advertising, etc) -- you should consider following one of those paths instead. You should remain open to all kinds of options while you are in college. Take classes that will benefit you no matter what you end up doing, like business, marketing, philosophy, website development, etc. Take advantage of being around other young, educated people who have their own unique ideas and goals. Meet as many people as you can, and ask as many questions as possible while you are in college. College is the time to challenge yourself and prepare yourself for adulthood! If there is an introductory music business class at your school, that would be a great place to start. Internships are also great ways to get your feet wet, while you can still afford to donate your time (most internships are unpaid). Internships are hard to land, but if you have a good resume and you are politely persistent, you will eventually get one. You could also join the official street teams for your favorite bands, and get involved with their online and street marketing. You might want to talk to your local promoters and venues, and offer to flyer for upcoming shows or to work at the shows. You could also talk to your local or school paper and offer to write show and record reviews for their music sections. Also: READ BOOKS! Get as many books as you can that talk about the music industry, and read them cover-to-cover. Start with All You Need To Know About the Music Business  .If you are really keeping your mind open, and trying a little bit of everything, you will quickly and naturally find yourself more inclined to want to work late nights on certain projects rather than others. You'll find yourself energized by the subject matter in some conversations and bored to tears talking about other subjects. You'll want to read ahead in your books for some classes, but find it extremely hard to make yourself even go to other classes. And lastly, remember that sometimes the things we love the most are the things we should specifically NOT pursue as a career. You love music, and that's great, but once you see "the wizard behind the curtain," you will never be able to go back to innocently loving music the way you once did. Just because you love something, it doesn't necessarily mean you should turn that thing into a job. But if you close your eyes and all you can see is yourself at a desk late at night, with papers piled up, and your phone ringing, and hundreds of emails unanswered -- and you feel a sense of joy when you picture that -- then go for it! If all else fails, you can always get a job as a nurse. We need more nurses in this country! :) Love, Sarah
Posted on 01/15/2009 1:24 AM Comments (13)
January 8, 2009"Stuck in South America" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah, Lately Ive been thinking a lot about my future. I live in South America and want to be in a band. Where I live, there is no possible way I can make a band and go on tour. I'm in singing classes so I can make my voice better and am raising money so that when I turn 16 I can exchange to USA and if possible make a band there where it's most acceptable. The thing is that my mother doesn't agree with my plans. I want to be a successful musician but my mother doesn't seem to understand that. What should I do about my mother? What can I do to make my goals realistic? Please help! Submitted by: http://kmipaz.buzznet.com Dear Stuck in South America, You're already on the right track, by having goals, following your instincts, and making plans. So the question here is smart planning, and timing. I don't know at what age you are a legal adult in South America, but there is, of course, the argument that once you are of legal age, there's nothing your mom can really do to stop you. However!!! Having the love and support of your family in all your endeavors is a very powerful tool, one that I could not have lived without. Even when my mom thought I was making a mistake, she still trusted me enough because of our relationship to let me work it out. It might be worth it for you to really listen to your mother's opinions and consider them, and try to work with her on a plan that will make you both at least mildly satisfied for now. Sixteen is a pretty young age for anyone to pick up and relocate to another continent; I moved across the country when I was 19 and it was extremely overwhelming even at that age. I can't imagine uprooting myself at 16 to live somewhere so far away from home. So maybe you should start by asking your mom when she might be comfortable with you moving so far away, for good. As for starting a band in the US and trying to "make it," I feel that it is my responsibility to remind you and everyone who reads this that the chance of that happening -- on the level you are imagining and hoping -- is less than 1%. More like 0.0000000001%. With the way the music industry is headed, putting all your eggs in the "start a band and get famous" basket is just not logical. It's almost a better approach to plan on NOT getting famous in a band, these days. I know so many talented, hardworking bands who have been touring relentlessly for years and years, who are still starving and broke with nowhere to live. It takes a lot of time, money, sacrifices, and work to get successful in a band these days -- and that still doesn't guarantee that you'll ever make more than you would at a decent office job. You have to do it because you love it, plain and simple. Now, the question for YOU is, when and where to start. I think you should wait a few more years before making any drastic moves. There is a lot you can work on in that time. You need to keep taking singing classes, and work on learning an instrument or two, maybe take some lessons. Try writing some songs. Learn some music history and music theory. Read books about how the music industry works. Try recording some of your own songs. Figure out what style of music is best suited for your voice. Plus, you need to research options for moving to the US. School? A job? A one-way ticket with your savings account in your backpack? Where will you live? Do you know about that city? What types of jobs are available there? What kinds of bands live and play in that city? How will you afford rent? Will you need a car? Do you know what areas are safe to live in? Maybe you could find a summer internship that would allow you to visit for a few months to learn more about the city and make some friends there. Make lists! Lots and lots of lists! While you are working on all of this planning, you should be saving every penny that you make, and perhaps most importantly, be working on communicating with your mom. Be open and honest with your mom about your ideas and plans, and try to take into consideration the things she says. Give her time to come around and see things from your point of view. She loves you and wants you to be happy, but it's also her job to protect you. So if you give her more time by sticking around a bit longer, working on a feasible plan for relocating, and keeping the lines of communication open with your mom, then at least you can say you tried. Sometimes all that's left to do is go out and prove yourself to people, but it's always smarter to get them on your side if you can. Love, Sarah
Posted on 01/08/2009 2:53 PM Comments (0)
"Unsure in New Zealand" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah, I'm unsure of what to do after I finish school. Music is my passion, but I'm not sure what exactly it is that excites me. New Zealand doesn't offer much within this particular industry and I don't want to make a huge mistake and follow something that may not lead me anywhere. So I'm essentially stuck. Do I follow something that doesn't have a clear ending, or take the safe road? Submitted by: http://xcollapsingcities.buzznet.com Dear Unsure in New Zealand, The most that any of us can hope for in life is to find joy in our work. If we are not spending our days energized by our work, everything else in our life suffers. We should love not the idea of what we do, not the title that we have, not the amount of money we get with each paycheck -- but the actual work itself. When we are working, we should enjoy even the smallest tasks. We should feel proud when we reach a goal we have set for ourselves. We should never be too comfortable; we should instinctively feel the urge to do more, to achieve more, to be better, to work harder. These are all the things that make us feel ALIVE. When people ask me what they should do with their lives, I get a little tongue-tied. I mean, I could sit with you and list all of your talents, your strong points, your interests, your financial goals, etc. We could brainstorm for hours about different types of jobs you could get, different schools you could go to, different internships to take. But the bottom line is: If you can find a way to make a living doing something that you are passionate about, something that you love working on with your own two hands, day in and day out, you'll be happy for the rest of your life. So you say music is your passion, but what about music do you want to make your life's work? Start there. Ask yourself WHY you might want to work in music. Are the reasons solid or hollow? By that I mean: Do you want to work in music because it seems exciting, and you like the glitz and glamor of touring and red carpets and MTV? Or do you want to work in music because you enjoy working 12-hour days sending emails and making phone calls, fighting for the smallest goals and coming up with creative ways to pay your bills in the meantime? Once you figure out in your heart of hearts whether or not your calling is truly to work in music -- for the sake of the work, not the music -- it's just a matter of setting goals for yourself and taking those first few awkward steps toward achieving them. This might mean going to college and taking classes, or it might mean working for a year to save up money so that you can take an internship abroad. It might mean asking your friend's band to take you on the road as their merch person. Set goals for six months from now, a year from now, two years from now, five years from now, and as far into the future as you can. The goals can and will change over time, and when they do, your plans will change with them -- sometimes without any notice at all. But you still, always, in every moment, need to have the goals. As for following something that doesn't have a clear ending: that's the beauty of life. It's not about the ending, it's about every moment leading up to the ending. We all have the same ending to our stories; the part we can control is what happens in the present. Right now! This second! Are you doing something you love? Are you doing something the drives you? Are you excited about tomorrow? Are you sure? Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.
Love, Sarah
Posted on 01/08/2009 2:51 PM Comments (0)
"I'm in Love With My Best Friend's Crush" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday] Hmmm... How do I say this? ***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah,
Ugh. I'm infatuated with my best friend's crush. She thinks he's straight, but he's not. He and I have messed around a couple of times. But she has dibs on him, even though they are not formally together. I don't want to do anything to mess up my friendship with her, but I really like this guy. What should I do? Love, Zacc Grazier http://zaccgrazier.buzznet.com Dear Zacc, What a predicament! And it's made even more complicated by the fact that this guy obviously has not come out as being gay or bisexual. The best approach here is to break it down and figure out where to start building it back up... 1. You are obviously open about your sexuality, and your friend (the girl) knows it. 2. The guy is obviously not open about his sexuality, since the girl thinks he is straight. 3. Your friendship with the girl seems to be more important to you than a relationship with the guy, which is admirable. I always say that honesty is the best policy, because the truth always prevails in the end -- it always makes itself known, in one way or another. But in this case, the burden of honesty doesn't necessarily fall on your shoulders, yet. First: It's up to this guy to be honest about his sexuality with the girl. If he can't do that, then there is no reason for you to even pursue him or upset your friend by telling her about him (especially if he isn't ready to come out, that could turn into a huge mess). So the first thing you do is have a conversation with him about whether or not he plans on coming out, and if he wants to be with the girl or not. As HER friend, you should want to encourage her love interest to be honest with her. Second: Check yourself. Since there is nothing you can do to act on your feelings for this guy right now, I think you should do the noble thing and put your feelings aside -- just for a while. Put the burden of honesty on him, and let him clean up his own mess. Just be ready to be there for your friend if and when he breaks the news to her. She will need your support. And keep in mind that it could take this guy a long time to work up the nerve to tell the girl the truth, or even to admit it to himself. During this time, a lot could change in your heart and mind. You might meet someone else or decide that he's not right for you. So keeping your feelings in check is the smart thing to do, not only for yourself, but for your best friend AND your crush. Finally: Be patient. It may seem like a really big deal at this moment, but so much can change in a matter of days or even hours that there is no need to upset yourself or feel anxious about getting the situation resolved. Focus your energy on something else, something creative. Spend time with other friends, start a new project, and keep yourself busy. Let this situation clear up on its own. If you are meant to be with this guy, it will happen when the time is right. But be open to the possibility that by the time it's all said and done, you might have already moved on. And most importantly, you'll still have your best friend. Love, Sarah
Posted on 01/08/2009 2:55 AM Comments (12)
January 1, 2009"Touring Hopeful" [Advice Column: Ask Me Anything! by Sarah Saturday]***Submit questions to me via message!***
Dear Sarah, How did you get on tours with bands, Warped Tour, etc? When I get older I want to work on tours and festivals like Bamboozle and Warped Tour. Where should I start? Submitted by: http://smile4thepoparazzi.buzznet.com Dear Touring Hopeful, I started touring when I was in my first band, Wish. We decided we wanted to book a US tour, and it was my job to book all the shows. I was 19 at the time, and had never booked an out-of-town show before. I ended up only getting us two shows in Michigan -- one was at a bar and the other was at a restaurant. The next tour I booked was for my band Saving Face, and that ended up taking us from Wisconsin (where we were from) to California and back. Saving Face was constantly going out of town for shows during the four years we were a band. During that time, I also filled in on bass for a band from Los Angeles for about three months of straight touring. The next kind of touring I did was on the production side, after I moved to California to start working for the Warped Tour. Getting the job working for Kevin Lyman and the Warped Tour was the next step in an organic progression from one chapter in my life to the next. I had met Kevin through the touring I had done for all those years, and I had kept in touch with him like I did with a lot of promoters, managers, etc. This is all Networking 101. One day, I called Kevin to ask for advice about my band. Either my timing was right or the universe decided to intervene, because he offered me a job that day. The experience I had gained in touring, booking, managing, promoting, marketing, etc., for the eight years prior to that day, served as my resume. My point is this: if you are passionate about something, you should be living it every day. If music is your passion, or art, or whatever, then you should already be working toward goals in those areas. The only way you will ever get from one point to another is through an organic evolution of events. If you are working hard to achieve your goals, and you do a good job of it and leave a good impression on the people you meet along the way, things will fall into place. So before you ask how to get on the Warped Tour or Bamboozle, first ask yourself what you want to do with your life. Does it follow a path that could potentially lead to working on the production side of a festival tour? If it does, then those are realistic goals and you should focus on building your resume and experience so that you can impress the right person at the right moment, when the day comes. "Nothing will be given; one must make one's own desire and every shape of its fulfillment." Love, Sarah An old pic I found from my first full summer working on Warped: 
Posted on 01/01/2009 2:43 PM Comments (0)
|
ARCHIVE
MY FRIENDS
redpatterndress
PanasonicYouth breesays Gabriel's Gonna Rollerblade mrdean no, not like rosalie hale. iriswasabi we're gonna burn out-- hard & bright. xjennersonx amynicolesommers chillingsilence karik484 FOLLOWERS ALL FRIENDS |
Buzz Feed