sarahsaturday

Dear Sarah,

I feel as if there is no Romeo to my Juliet; that I've lost hope of ever finding love. Guys don't want me or appreciate that I'm different. My friends tell me that no boy is worth my tears or my time, and that a girl like me needs someone whose heart is as open and sweet as mine. The deafening silences I hear when I'm sitting by a guy kills me more and more every time. What do I do? Please help me!

Submitted by: http://musicalxheartxbeats.buzznet.com

Dear Juliet,

I know that everything feels really intense right now; that the desire to find "love" seems to overpower everything else in your life. But you have to take about 10 steps outside your life for a minute, and realize some things.

First of all, you are young. You haven't even begun to begin the many chapters of your life during which you will find (and lose) "love." Trust me on this! Now is not the time to worry about finding a soul mate. The world is enormous and you haven't even made it outside your own town to live, work, and start meeting new people. You have all the time in the universe.

Now is the time to focus on yourself. As with any goal, the goal of eventually finding the perfect guy that completes you and embodies the qualities of your ideal "Romeo" should be approached logically and with your mind, rather than your heart.

Ask yourself, from your future, ideal guy's point of view: What is going to make you undeniable to him? What are the qualities that you would WANT your ideal guy to want in a girl? Would he want a cheerleader? A poet? An artist? A sports fanatic? A businesswoman? Would he want someone who likes to read? Travel? Shop? Hike? Write? Cook? What are his values, and what are the values he is looking for in his ideal girl?

"Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem: it is his response to his own highest values in the person of another -- an integrated response of mind and body, of love and sexual desire. Such a man (or woman) is incapable of experiencing a sexual desire divorced from spiritual values."

Now is not the time to worry about silly high school boys. Now is the time to discover and create yourself, to become the best possible version of yourself. Don't let other people decide your value and worth; decide it yourself, create it yourself. Instead of trying to find your ideal qualities in someone else, cultivate those qualities within yourself. Become the source for your own happiness; be an end in yourself. You have friends, family, health, youth, and time on your side; be grateful for that!

You have plenty of time to find love, and you will find love. But love your own life, and your own self, first.

"The woman who does not value herself, cannot value anything or anyone."

Love,
Sarah