sarahsaturday

Dear Sarah,

I really like this guy. My friend wanted me to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend, so I decided to ask him. I did and he said sure. The thing is, we haven't gone out yet because either my friend is out of town, or were all grounded for our grades, etc. But I really want to know if he likes me. I mean we have a little bit of conversation, and when I look up I catch him staring at me most of the time. We give a cheek-to-cheek hello to each other in the mornings (in my school, that's totally normal; everyone's mushy), and little things like that. But, guys are so confusing. I've been hurt before so I'm totally paranoid about it happening again. What should I do in order to find out if he likes me or not?

Submitted by: Paranoid and Crushing

Dear Paranoid and Crushing,

First of all, the guy accepted your invitation to go on the double date. That is a really good sign! If he didn't like you at all, he wouldn't want to give you the wrong impression by saying yes to going on a DATE. That's a pretty positive sign!

Secondly, you say that you catch him staring at you, and you seem to have nothing but positive interactions. These are all signs that he is definitely interested in you. Maybe not head over heels in love, but you have sparked his interest to some degree.

Rather than wait for the double date to happen, maybe you should set up another outing where you can hang out together, but it's not the pressure of a date. Invite a group of friends to go bowling, or to see a movie, or to go to a show -- then invite him along! You just need to be in a situation outside of school where you have a chance to strike up a conversation, and then you'll be able to read him better.

I know it's hard to regain your trust in guys after getting hurt in the past, but you also have to give each new guy the benefit of the doubt, and at least let him start with a clean slate in your eyes. Don't project your negative experiences with other guys in the past, onto this new guy. He hasn't done anything yet that should worry you. You have to overcome the fear inside yourself and get to know this guy first.

You could also send in a "spy" -- a mutual friend who can find out if he has mentioned you at all, or talked about liking you. But once you start snooping, it won't be long before it gets back to him, and he'll know you are interested. At that point, you might as well walk up to him yourself, and strike up a conversation. ;)

Love,
Sarah